On 7/8/2021 1:20 am, Mike B. wrote:
Just thought some of you would
get a kick out of this.
Don't feel stupid about using
your computer, read on.
This is an excerpt from a Wall
Street Journal article:
1. Compaq is considering
changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key"
because of the flood of calls asking where the Any Key is.
2. SAT technical support had a
caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the
dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.
3. Another SAT customer was
asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days
later a letter arrived from the customer along with
of the floppies.
4. Another Dell customer called
to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40
minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by
holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the
5. A Dell technician received a
call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had
told him he was "bad and an invalid," The
tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid"
responses shouldn't be taken personally.
6. A confused caller to IBM was
having troubles printing documents. He told the technician
that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the
printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the
7. An exasperated caller to
Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer
to turn on. After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she
pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on
this foot pedal and nothing
happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.
8. Another customer called
Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't
work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked
what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked
"What power switch?"
9. Another IBM customer had
troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in
the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to
put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user
hadn't realized that "Insert
Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.
10. In a similar incident, a
customer had followed the instructions for installing
software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its
insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the
casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.
11. True story from a Novell
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I
Caller: "The cup holder on my
PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go
about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you
say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to
the front of my computer."
Tech: Did you receive this as
part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this
cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
Caller: It came with my
computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has
'4X' on it."
At this point, the Tech Rep had
to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was
laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.
12. A woman called the Canon
help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her
if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window
and his printer is working fine."
13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob,
let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That
brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"
Now don't you feel better about
your skill level?
Stay safe & take care.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: