Re: A humorous techie piece I wrote


Donna
 

If one of these vending machines was in every house in America that has a child 5 & older & one of these machines was the only way to get junk snack foods...Our childhood obesity rate would drop.

Donna


Hi,


This might not sound very techie to you at first, but please bear with me.


Enjoy,


A Vending Machine in the gymnasium?!
By Sharon Hooley

There's a recreation center in town with a vending machine in the gym. But don't despair too much, as there's no need to feel quite as guilty as you would with a regular kind. Dr. Kandace Vendaweit, a fitness coach as well as a programming engineer, has invented an unusual contraption with handles, levers and pedals that surround the money slot so closely as to make it harder to find and use. There is also what appears to be a stair stepper toward the bottom below the chutes the change and goodies drop into. So how does it work?

For the first time, and with trepidation, you manage to insert your $1 bill into the slot and select a Snickers candy bar. When the next screen pops up you realize that there's an onboard screen reader with every imaginable format so anyone can read the messages…

“So, you really want that candy bar, do you?" You hear what you surmize is the recorded taunting voice of Dr. Vendaweit herself. "Well, in order to get it, you must do the following: Now, I always keep track of everything you do with me, and I went out of my way to provide every possible means for you to understand clearly what I say, so there’s absolutely no excuse, unless you want to leave your change behind!…

"Let us begin now. Pump the top two levers up and down for 5 minutes"...

"Now, push and pull the two weighted handles below for 10 minutes"...

"Now, cycle the pedals with your arms for 15 minutes. They're located just above the chutes."...

"Now, use the stair-stepper that’s below the chutes for 20 minutes"…

"Now, do a kick boxing practice session against the left and right side panels"…”

Suddenly, and to your immense relief, you hear the all-too-familiar thump and clang. "There's your Snickers Bar!" she says in an overly cheerful tone. "I suppose I could have added a scale for you to stepp on to finally get the candy out, but then wouldn’t that be pointless? “Don’t forget your change… of diet next time!”






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