Computer Terms, For A Little Levity


Mike B. <mb69mach1@...>
 

Computer Terms
 
State-of-the-art -
Any computer you can't afford.
 
Obsolete -
Any computer you own.
 
Microsecond -
The time it takes for your state-of-the-art
computer to become obsolete.
 
GUI -
What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced "gooey")
 
Keyboard -
The standard way to generate computer errors.
 
Mouse -
An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
 
Floppy -
The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
 
Portable Computer -
A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
 
Disk Crash -
A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
 
System Update -
A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.
 
Computer virus going around
 
Politically Correct virus:
Never calls itself a "virus", but instead refers to itself as an "electronic microorganism."
 
Government Economist virus:
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
 
New World Order virus:
Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.
 
Bureaucrat virus:
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of your computer.
 
Oedipus Rex virus:
Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.
 
Elvis virus:
Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy, then self destructs.
Take care.  Mike.  Dodgers, try again next year!
Sent from my iBarstool.
Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement.  In the end you have to ignore everything, & click I agree.

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