Re: HOW TO UNSUBSCRIBE, Humor


Carolyn Arnold
 

That just cracked me up - LOL! I sent it to a bunch of
people.

-----Original Message-----
From: main@TechTalk.groups.io
[mailto:main@TechTalk.groups.io] On Behalf Of Mike B
Sent: Friday, March 20, 2020 8:22 PM
To: TechTalk <main@TechTalk.groups.io>
Subject: [TechTalk] HOW TO UNSUBSCRIBE, Humor

Hi All,

A little humor I thought y'all might get a kick out of:


*How To Unsubscribe *

*Author Unknown*

Ever tried to unsubscribe from a company's mailing list and
felt like you had been through a serious war when it was
finally completed? I know I have! Some of these people
should just be honest and post more realistic directions
such as these:

To unsubscribe from this service you must first purchase a
Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit. The
unit can be obtained from most hardware stores and dental
clinics. Be sure to obtain the proper permits to operate the
unit from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission and the Food and
Drug Administration in Washington D.C. USA.

Be sure to carefully unpack the kit and place each component
in its accompanying mesh safety bag. Mount the Pershing DF4
mesinator on top of the perforated Gerring Mach 77
refibulator and attach them using the eight-millimeter
torque fork. Be sure that the refibulator is mounted at a
66 degree angle and properly dispersed so that it is flush
with the curved section of the Pyrex thistle tube. Place the
four sections of the triangular separation gear into the
posture cylinder and lock them into place using the band-aid
adhesive strip. Insert the wiggling pin into the wobbling
hole, making sure that it's seated correctly. Place the D
cell battery and the eleven 9 volt batteries in the power
chamber.

The device should be calibrated before operation using the
optional digital corkscrew accessory pack prior to
operation. Insert the digital corkscrew through the
electronic combustion service chamber using caution not to
touch the reinforced tungsten igniter control module and
quickly turn the inverter drive to 28.6 degrees. Turn the
Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit
upside down and hit the bottom plate with a 48-ounce
ball-peen hammer while shaking the unit vigorously. Force
open the door to the incineration valve compartment and set
the pressure gauge to
719 psi. Close the door and seal it shut with duct tape. The
unit should now be properly calibrated and ready to use.

Before activating the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription
Cancellation Unit, you must first elevate it to a height of
229 feet above sea level to ensure that the unit receives
the proper oxygen level and barometric pressure. Point the
aerial to 17 degrees north by Northeast to within the
parameters of the Telstar GS-2 weather satellite and apply
pressure to the wing shaft on the southernmost section of
the modular accelerator. Using the special ratchet adapter
supplied with the unit, rotate the heater core to the "on"
position.

The "on" position has been obtained when the green light
begins to flash, signifying that the red light is about to
go off. Once the red light is off, flip the toggle switch
labeled "ON/OFF" to the "ON" position and count to 47 before
logging on to the system.

Login using your username and password and wait for the
prompt. Once prompted you must check the box with the
appropriate action you wish to take and then press the
pressure release button and turn off the compressor while
turning the hand crank at 231 meters per minute. Next, press
control, alt, delete, caps lock, shift, number lock, escape
and tab simultaneously.
Press enter.

You will have one second to complete the procedure. If you
fail to respond in the time limit allowed, simply purchase a
new Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit
and start from the beginning.

Please remember that this is the only way we will accept for
you to unsubscribe from this service. We have made every
attempt to simplify the procedure for your convenience.
Failure to comply with the unsubscribe policy will result in
immediate termination of your subscription so please follow
the above directions closely.



Take care. Mike. Sent from my iBarstool. Go dodgers!
I didn't stop shaking hands because of, COVID-19, I stopped
because noone can buy toilet paper!
But, good news! Due to the hording of toilet paper the LA
Times is temporarily changing it's name to: The Daily Wipe!

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