HOW TO UNSUBSCRIBE, Humor


Mike B.
 

Hi All,
 
A little humor I thought y'all might get a kick out of:

*How To Unsubscribe *
 
*Author Unknown*
 
Ever tried to unsubscribe from a company's mailing list and felt like you
had been through a serious war when it was finally completed? I know I
have! Some of these people should just be honest and post more realistic
directions such as these:
 
To unsubscribe from this service you must first purchase a Craft-O-Matic
Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit. The unit can be obtained from
most hardware stores and dental clinics. Be sure to obtain the proper
permits to operate the unit from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission and the
Food and Drug Administration in Washington D.C. USA.
 
Be sure to carefully unpack the kit and place each component in its
accompanying mesh safety bag. Mount the Pershing DF4 mesinator on top of
the perforated Gerring Mach 77 refibulator and attach them using the
eight-millimeter torque fork. Be sure that the refibulator is mounted at a
66 degree angle and properly dispersed so that it is flush with the curved
section of the Pyrex thistle tube. Place the four sections of the
triangular separation gear into the posture cylinder and lock them into
place using the band-aid adhesive strip. Insert the wiggling pin into the
wobbling hole, making sure that it's seated correctly. Place the D cell
battery and the eleven 9 volt batteries in the power chamber.
 
The device should be calibrated before operation using the optional digital
corkscrew accessory pack prior to operation. Insert the digital corkscrew
through the electronic combustion service chamber using caution not to
touch the reinforced tungsten igniter control module and quickly turn the
inverter drive to 28.6 degrees. Turn the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable
Subscription Cancellation Unit upside down and hit the bottom plate with a
48-ounce ball-peen hammer while shaking the unit vigorously. Force open the
door to the incineration valve compartment and set the pressure gauge to
719 psi. Close the door and seal it shut with duct tape. The unit should
now be properly calibrated and ready to use.
 
Before activating the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation
Unit, you must first elevate it to a height of 229 feet above sea level to
ensure that the unit receives the proper oxygen level and barometric
pressure. Point the aerial to 17 degrees north by Northeast to within the
parameters of the Telstar GS-2 weather satellite and apply pressure to the
wing shaft on the southernmost section of the modular accelerator. Using
the special ratchet adapter supplied with the unit, rotate the heater core
to the "on" position.
 
The "on" position has been obtained when the green light begins to flash,
signifying that the red light is about to go off. Once the red light is
off, flip the toggle switch labeled "ON/OFF" to the "ON" position and count
to 47 before logging on to the system.
 
Login using your username and password and wait for the prompt. Once
prompted you must check the box with the appropriate action you wish to
take and then press the pressure release button and turn off the compressor
while turning the hand crank at 231 meters per minute. Next, press control,
alt, delete, caps lock, shift, number lock, escape and tab simultaneously.
Press enter.
 
You will have one second to complete the procedure. If you fail to respond
in the time limit allowed, simply purchase a new Craft-O-Matic Adjustable
Subscription Cancellation Unit and start from the beginning.
 
Please remember that this is the only way we will accept for you to
unsubscribe from this service. We have made every attempt to simplify the
procedure for your convenience. Failure to comply with the unsubscribe
policy will result in immediate termination of your subscription so please
follow the above directions closely.
 
 
 
Take care.  Mike.  Sent from my iBarstool.  Go dodgers!
I didn't stop shaking hands because of, COVID-19, I stopped because noone can buy toilet paper!
But, good news!  Due to the hording of toilet paper the LA Times is temporarily changing it's name to:  The Daily Wipe!


Carolyn Arnold
 

That just cracked me up - LOL! I sent it to a bunch of
people.

-----Original Message-----
From: main@TechTalk.groups.io
[mailto:main@TechTalk.groups.io] On Behalf Of Mike B
Sent: Friday, March 20, 2020 8:22 PM
To: TechTalk <main@TechTalk.groups.io>
Subject: [TechTalk] HOW TO UNSUBSCRIBE, Humor

Hi All,

A little humor I thought y'all might get a kick out of:


*How To Unsubscribe *

*Author Unknown*

Ever tried to unsubscribe from a company's mailing list and
felt like you had been through a serious war when it was
finally completed? I know I have! Some of these people
should just be honest and post more realistic directions
such as these:

To unsubscribe from this service you must first purchase a
Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit. The
unit can be obtained from most hardware stores and dental
clinics. Be sure to obtain the proper permits to operate the
unit from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission and the Food and
Drug Administration in Washington D.C. USA.

Be sure to carefully unpack the kit and place each component
in its accompanying mesh safety bag. Mount the Pershing DF4
mesinator on top of the perforated Gerring Mach 77
refibulator and attach them using the eight-millimeter
torque fork. Be sure that the refibulator is mounted at a
66 degree angle and properly dispersed so that it is flush
with the curved section of the Pyrex thistle tube. Place the
four sections of the triangular separation gear into the
posture cylinder and lock them into place using the band-aid
adhesive strip. Insert the wiggling pin into the wobbling
hole, making sure that it's seated correctly. Place the D
cell battery and the eleven 9 volt batteries in the power
chamber.

The device should be calibrated before operation using the
optional digital corkscrew accessory pack prior to
operation. Insert the digital corkscrew through the
electronic combustion service chamber using caution not to
touch the reinforced tungsten igniter control module and
quickly turn the inverter drive to 28.6 degrees. Turn the
Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit
upside down and hit the bottom plate with a 48-ounce
ball-peen hammer while shaking the unit vigorously. Force
open the door to the incineration valve compartment and set
the pressure gauge to
719 psi. Close the door and seal it shut with duct tape. The
unit should now be properly calibrated and ready to use.

Before activating the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription
Cancellation Unit, you must first elevate it to a height of
229 feet above sea level to ensure that the unit receives
the proper oxygen level and barometric pressure. Point the
aerial to 17 degrees north by Northeast to within the
parameters of the Telstar GS-2 weather satellite and apply
pressure to the wing shaft on the southernmost section of
the modular accelerator. Using the special ratchet adapter
supplied with the unit, rotate the heater core to the "on"
position.

The "on" position has been obtained when the green light
begins to flash, signifying that the red light is about to
go off. Once the red light is off, flip the toggle switch
labeled "ON/OFF" to the "ON" position and count to 47 before
logging on to the system.

Login using your username and password and wait for the
prompt. Once prompted you must check the box with the
appropriate action you wish to take and then press the
pressure release button and turn off the compressor while
turning the hand crank at 231 meters per minute. Next, press
control, alt, delete, caps lock, shift, number lock, escape
and tab simultaneously.
Press enter.

You will have one second to complete the procedure. If you
fail to respond in the time limit allowed, simply purchase a
new Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit
and start from the beginning.

Please remember that this is the only way we will accept for
you to unsubscribe from this service. We have made every
attempt to simplify the procedure for your convenience.
Failure to comply with the unsubscribe policy will result in
immediate termination of your subscription so please follow
the above directions closely.



Take care. Mike. Sent from my iBarstool. Go dodgers!
I didn't stop shaking hands because of, COVID-19, I stopped
because noone can buy toilet paper!
But, good news! Due to the hording of toilet paper the LA
Times is temporarily changing it's name to: The Daily Wipe!


Holly
 

That was too funny! I also passed it on.

We all need a little humor these days.


Monte Single
 

Oi!

That is right up there with dee mac afeeization..

 

From: main@TechTalk.groups.io [mailto:main@TechTalk.groups.io] On Behalf Of Mike B
Sent: March-20-20 6:22 PM
To: TechTalk <main@TechTalk.groups.io>
Subject: [TechTalk] HOW TO UNSUBSCRIBE, Humor

 

Hi All,

 

A little humor I thought y'all might get a kick out of:

 

*How To Unsubscribe *

 

*Author Unknown*

 

Ever tried to unsubscribe from a company's mailing list and felt like you
had been through a serious war when it was finally completed? I know I
have! Some of these people should just be honest and post more realistic
directions such as these:

 

To unsubscribe from this service you must first purchase a Craft-O-Matic
Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit. The unit can be obtained from
most hardware stores and dental clinics. Be sure to obtain the proper
permits to operate the unit from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission and the
Food and Drug Administration in Washington D.C. USA.

 

Be sure to carefully unpack the kit and place each component in its
accompanying mesh safety bag. Mount the Pershing DF4 mesinator on top of
the perforated Gerring Mach 77 refibulator and attach them using the
eight-millimeter torque fork. Be sure that the refibulator is mounted at a
66 degree angle and properly dispersed so that it is flush with the curved
section of the Pyrex thistle tube. Place the four sections of the
triangular separation gear into the posture cylinder and lock them into
place using the band-aid adhesive strip. Insert the wiggling pin into the
wobbling hole, making sure that it's seated correctly. Place the D cell
battery and the eleven 9 volt batteries in the power chamber.

 

The device should be calibrated before operation using the optional digital
corkscrew accessory pack prior to operation. Insert the digital corkscrew
through the electronic combustion service chamber using caution not to
touch the reinforced tungsten igniter control module and quickly turn the
inverter drive to 28.6 degrees. Turn the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable
Subscription Cancellation Unit upside down and hit the bottom plate with a
48-ounce ball-peen hammer while shaking the unit vigorously. Force open the
door to the incineration valve compartment and set the pressure gauge to
719 psi. Close the door and seal it shut with duct tape. The unit should
now be properly calibrated and ready to use.

 

Before activating the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation
Unit, you must first elevate it to a height of 229 feet above sea level to
ensure that the unit receives the proper oxygen level and barometric
pressure. Point the aerial to 17 degrees north by Northeast to within the
parameters of the Telstar GS-2 weather satellite and apply pressure to the
wing shaft on the southernmost section of the modular accelerator. Using
the special ratchet adapter supplied with the unit, rotate the heater core
to the "on" position.

 

The "on" position has been obtained when the green light begins to flash,
signifying that the red light is about to go off. Once the red light is
off, flip the toggle switch labeled "ON/OFF" to the "ON" position and count
to 47 before logging on to the system.

 

Login using your username and password and wait for the prompt. Once
prompted you must check the box with the appropriate action you wish to
take and then press the pressure release button and turn off the compressor
while turning the hand crank at 231 meters per minute. Next, press control,
alt, delete, caps lock, shift, number lock, escape and tab simultaneously.
Press enter.

 

You will have one second to complete the procedure. If you fail to respond
in the time limit allowed, simply purchase a new Craft-O-Matic Adjustable
Subscription Cancellation Unit and start from the beginning.

 

Please remember that this is the only way we will accept for you to
unsubscribe from this service. We have made every attempt to simplify the
procedure for your convenience. Failure to comply with the unsubscribe
policy will result in immediate termination of your subscription so please
follow the above directions closely.

 

 

 

Take care.  Mike.  Sent from my iBarstool.  Go dodgers!
I didn't stop shaking hands because of, COVID-19, I stopped because noone can buy toilet paper!
But, good news!  Due to the hording of toilet paper the LA Times is temporarily changing it's name to:  The Daily Wipe!


Norma A. Boge
 

LOL Absolutely brilliant!

BTW, Mike, it’s not the Times that’s changing its name, it’s the Congressional Record…hahaha!

 

 

 

From: main@TechTalk.groups.io <main@TechTalk.groups.io> On Behalf Of Mike B
Sent: Friday, March 20, 2020 7:22 PM
To: TechTalk <main@TechTalk.groups.io>
Subject: [TechTalk] HOW TO UNSUBSCRIBE, Humor

 

Hi All,

 

A little humor I thought y'all might get a kick out of:

 

*How To Unsubscribe *

 

*Author Unknown*

 

Ever tried to unsubscribe from a company's mailing list and felt like you
had been through a serious war when it was finally completed? I know I
have! Some of these people should just be honest and post more realistic
directions such as these:

 

To unsubscribe from this service you must first purchase a Craft-O-Matic
Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit. The unit can be obtained from
most hardware stores and dental clinics. Be sure to obtain the proper
permits to operate the unit from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission and the
Food and Drug Administration in Washington D.C. USA.

 

Be sure to carefully unpack the kit and place each component in its
accompanying mesh safety bag. Mount the Pershing DF4 mesinator on top of
the perforated Gerring Mach 77 refibulator and attach them using the
eight-millimeter torque fork. Be sure that the refibulator is mounted at a
66 degree angle and properly dispersed so that it is flush with the curved
section of the Pyrex thistle tube. Place the four sections of the
triangular separation gear into the posture cylinder and lock them into
place using the band-aid adhesive strip. Insert the wiggling pin into the
wobbling hole, making sure that it's seated correctly. Place the D cell
battery and the eleven 9 volt batteries in the power chamber.

 

The device should be calibrated before operation using the optional digital
corkscrew accessory pack prior to operation. Insert the digital corkscrew
through the electronic combustion service chamber using caution not to
touch the reinforced tungsten igniter control module and quickly turn the
inverter drive to 28.6 degrees. Turn the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable
Subscription Cancellation Unit upside down and hit the bottom plate with a
48-ounce ball-peen hammer while shaking the unit vigorously. Force open the
door to the incineration valve compartment and set the pressure gauge to
719 psi. Close the door and seal it shut with duct tape. The unit should
now be properly calibrated and ready to use.

 

Before activating the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation
Unit, you must first elevate it to a height of 229 feet above sea level to
ensure that the unit receives the proper oxygen level and barometric
pressure. Point the aerial to 17 degrees north by Northeast to within the
parameters of the Telstar GS-2 weather satellite and apply pressure to the
wing shaft on the southernmost section of the modular accelerator. Using
the special ratchet adapter supplied with the unit, rotate the heater core
to the "on" position.

 

The "on" position has been obtained when the green light begins to flash,
signifying that the red light is about to go off. Once the red light is
off, flip the toggle switch labeled "ON/OFF" to the "ON" position and count
to 47 before logging on to the system.

 

Login using your username and password and wait for the prompt. Once
prompted you must check the box with the appropriate action you wish to
take and then press the pressure release button and turn off the compressor
while turning the hand crank at 231 meters per minute. Next, press control,
alt, delete, caps lock, shift, number lock, escape and tab simultaneously.
Press enter.

 

You will have one second to complete the procedure. If you fail to respond
in the time limit allowed, simply purchase a new Craft-O-Matic Adjustable
Subscription Cancellation Unit and start from the beginning.

 

Please remember that this is the only way we will accept for you to
unsubscribe from this service. We have made every attempt to simplify the
procedure for your convenience. Failure to comply with the unsubscribe
policy will result in immediate termination of your subscription so please
follow the above directions closely.

 

 

 

Take care.  Mike.  Sent from my iBarstool.  Go dodgers!
I didn't stop shaking hands because of, COVID-19, I stopped because noone can buy toilet paper!
But, good news!  Due to the hording of toilet paper the LA Times is temporarily changing it's name to:  The Daily Wipe!


jan howells <gale7978@...>
 

I, too, sent it to a lot of people.


jan howells <gale7978@...>
 

Yes, this humor came at a perfect time.


Pamela Dominguez
 

Thanks for this!  It cracked me up!  Pam.
 

From: Mike B
Sent: Friday, March 20, 2020 8:21 PM
Subject: [TechTalk] HOW TO UNSUBSCRIBE, Humor
 
Hi All,
 
A little humor I thought y'all might get a kick out of:

*How To Unsubscribe *
 
*Author Unknown*
 
Ever tried to unsubscribe from a company's mailing list and felt like you
had been through a serious war when it was finally completed? I know I
have! Some of these people should just be honest and post more realistic
directions such as these:
 
To unsubscribe from this service you must first purchase a Craft-O-Matic
Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit. The unit can be obtained from
most hardware stores and dental clinics. Be sure to obtain the proper
permits to operate the unit from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission and the
Food and Drug Administration in Washington D.C. USA.
 
Be sure to carefully unpack the kit and place each component in its
accompanying mesh safety bag. Mount the Pershing DF4 mesinator on top of
the perforated Gerring Mach 77 refibulator and attach them using the
eight-millimeter torque fork. Be sure that the refibulator is mounted at a
66 degree angle and properly dispersed so that it is flush with the curved
section of the Pyrex thistle tube. Place the four sections of the
triangular separation gear into the posture cylinder and lock them into
place using the band-aid adhesive strip. Insert the wiggling pin into the
wobbling hole, making sure that it's seated correctly. Place the D cell
battery and the eleven 9 volt batteries in the power chamber.
 
The device should be calibrated before operation using the optional digital
corkscrew accessory pack prior to operation. Insert the digital corkscrew
through the electronic combustion service chamber using caution not to
touch the reinforced tungsten igniter control module and quickly turn the
inverter drive to 28.6 degrees. Turn the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable
Subscription Cancellation Unit upside down and hit the bottom plate with a
48-ounce ball-peen hammer while shaking the unit vigorously. Force open the
door to the incineration valve compartment and set the pressure gauge to
719 psi. Close the door and seal it shut with duct tape. The unit should
now be properly calibrated and ready to use.
 
Before activating the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation
Unit, you must first elevate it to a height of 229 feet above sea level to
ensure that the unit receives the proper oxygen level and barometric
pressure. Point the aerial to 17 degrees north by Northeast to within the
parameters of the Telstar GS-2 weather satellite and apply pressure to the
wing shaft on the southernmost section of the modular accelerator. Using
the special ratchet adapter supplied with the unit, rotate the heater core
to the "on" position.
 
The "on" position has been obtained when the green light begins to flash,
signifying that the red light is about to go off. Once the red light is
off, flip the toggle switch labeled "ON/OFF" to the "ON" position and count
to 47 before logging on to the system.
 
Login using your username and password and wait for the prompt. Once
prompted you must check the box with the appropriate action you wish to
take and then press the pressure release button and turn off the compressor
while turning the hand crank at 231 meters per minute. Next, press control,
alt, delete, caps lock, shift, number lock, escape and tab simultaneously.
Press enter.
 
You will have one second to complete the procedure. If you fail to respond
in the time limit allowed, simply purchase a new Craft-O-Matic Adjustable
Subscription Cancellation Unit and start from the beginning.
 
Please remember that this is the only way we will accept for you to
unsubscribe from this service. We have made every attempt to simplify the
procedure for your convenience. Failure to comply with the unsubscribe
policy will result in immediate termination of your subscription so please
follow the above directions closely.
 
 
 
Take care.  Mike.  Sent from my iBarstool.  Go dodgers!
I didn't stop shaking hands because of, COVID-19, I stopped because noone can buy toilet paper!
But, good news!  Due to the hording of toilet paper the LA Times is temporarily changing it's name to:  The Daily Wipe!

Virus-free. www.avg.com


Olusegun -- Victory Associates LTD, Inc.
 

Admiral Mike's brilliant, humorous unsubscribe instructions reads in part:

"press control, alt, delete, caps lock, shift, number lock, escape and tab
simultaneously."

Shall I move over to the Navy? Looks like you all have five hands and 50
fingers over there, and I'm right here trying to waste two hands and ten
fingers assuming I can count right.

Well, thanks for letting me LAUGH QUADRUPLY HARD at a time when I'm
preparing for a lockdown!

The signature line reads in part:

"I didn't stop shaking hands because of, COVID-19, I stopped because noone
can buy toilet paper!
But, good news! Due to the hording of toilet paper the LA Times is
temporarily changing it's name to: The Daily Wipe!"

Ok, I'll start selling, selling and reselling toilet papers immediately!

Now I'll tiptoe back to my bunkers; thanks again for a good laugh, this one
I'll keep for eternity!

Sincerely,
Olusegun
Denver, Colorado