Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor


Mike B. <mb69mach1@...>
 

Hi All,
 
Just thought some of you would get a kick out of this.
 
 
Don't feel stupid about using your computer, read on.
 
This is an  excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:
 
 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the Any Key is.
 
 2. SAT technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on.  The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.
 
 3. Another SAT customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies
of the floppies.
 
 4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.  After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
 
 5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid," The
tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
 
 6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.  He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer."
 
 7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on.  After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.
 
 8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"
 
 9. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that "Insert
Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.
 
 10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and
insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.
 
 11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:
 
 Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
 
 Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
 
 Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
 
 Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
 
 Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
 
 Tech: Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show?  How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
 
 Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."
 
 At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.
 
 12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his  printer is working fine."
 
 13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
 Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
 Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
 Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "What do you mean?"
 Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"
 
 Now don't you feel better about your skill level?
 
 
Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 


David Moore <jesusloves1966@...>
 

Wow mike! That is the funniest message I have ever seen! May I forward this and maybe even put it on facebook! People are so funny sometimes, that all you can do is laugh lol! My wife, parents, and many people I have known never stop talking about just how strange, I can't think of the right word, how funny people are! I can't imagine someone saying their computer is by the door when they are being asked if they are using the Windows operating system! This is very funny, thanks for putting this on here so people don't feel so bad if they have a legitimate question! Take care mike, you are awesome lol!


On Fri, Aug 6, 2021, 1:21 PM Mike B. <mb69mach1@...> wrote:
Hi All,
 
Just thought some of you would get a kick out of this.
 
 
Don't feel stupid about using your computer, read on.
 
This is an  excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:
 
 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the Any Key is.
 
 2. SAT technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on.  The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.
 
 3. Another SAT customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies
of the floppies.
 
 4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.  After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
 
 5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid," The
tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
 
 6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.  He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer."
 
 7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on.  After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.
 
 8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"
 
 9. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that "Insert
Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.
 
 10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and
insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.
 
 11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:
 
 Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
 
 Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
 
 Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
 
 Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
 
 Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
 
 Tech: Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show?  How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
 
 Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."
 
 At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.
 
 12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his  printer is working fine."
 
 13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
 Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
 Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
 Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "What do you mean?"
 Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"
 
 Now don't you feel better about your skill level?
 
 
Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 


Jaffar Sidek
 

Hey mike.  Those were great.  How about this?


A customer called IBM help desk.

Tech help: "How can I help you m'am?"

Lady customer: "Is it true that when I press Function Key1, Help will be available as written and guaranteed in my computer's mannual?"

Tech Help:  "Yes, indeed m'am."

Lady Customer: "Well I've pressed Function key1, waited for 20 minutes or so, and no help came."

Cheers!

On 7/8/2021 1:20 am, Mike B. wrote:
Hi All,
 
Just thought some of you would get a kick out of this.
 
 
Don't feel stupid about using your computer, read on.
 
This is an  excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:
 
 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the Any Key is.
 
 2. SAT technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on.  The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.
 
 3. Another SAT customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies
of the floppies.
 
 4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.  After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
 
 5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid," The
tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
 
 6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.  He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer."
 
 7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on.  After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.
 
 8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"
 
 9. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that "Insert
Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.
 
 10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and
insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.
 
 11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:
 
 Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
 
 Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
 
 Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
 
 Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
 
 Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
 
 Tech: Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show?  How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
 
 Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."
 
 At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.
 
 12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his  printer is working fine."
 
 13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
 Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
 Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
 Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "What do you mean?"
 Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"
 
 Now don't you feel better about your skill level?
 
 
Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 


Mike B. <mb69mach1@...>
 


It says it came from the Wall Street Journal, so I'm assuming it's open to the public, so go ahead and share it.  A quick story, you know how those phony calls from people saying they're from Microsoft used to come around and they would say they needed to log into your computer for whatever reason?  One time I got one of these calls and asked the dude what he wanted, playing total ignorance about Microsoft, when he said he was from Microsoft Windows.  I told him that it was a coincidence that he was calling about Windows because I needed someone to clean our windows and asked how much they charged.
 
This dude said that they don't clean windows, and I reminded him that he just told me he was calling about windows, and if they don't clean windows why the hell are you calling me?!  This dude must have really really wanted to get into my computer because this crap went back and forth for better than half an hour!  Finally he said the magic word, * computer *, and I asked him, " what the hell is a computer?!"  Well anyways, the whole cleaning windows thing started again, and he finally hung up on me!  I know this had to be a coincidence with particular phone call from a phony Microsoft representative because I never received another phone call from one of those phonies to this day!
 
Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 

----- Original Message -----
Sent: Friday, August 06, 2021 3:19 PM
Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor

Wow mike! That is the funniest message I have ever seen! May I forward this and maybe even put it on facebook! People are so funny sometimes, that all you can do is laugh lol! My wife, parents, and many people I have known never stop talking about just how strange, I can't think of the right word, how funny people are! I can't imagine someone saying their computer is by the door when they are being asked if they are using the Windows operating system! This is very funny, thanks for putting this on here so people don't feel so bad if they have a legitimate question! Take care mike, you are awesome lol!


On Fri, Aug 6, 2021, 1:21 PM Mike B. <mb69mach1@...> wrote:
Hi All,
 
Just thought some of you would get a kick out of this.
 
 
Don't feel stupid about using your computer, read on.
 
This is an  excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:
 
 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the Any Key is.
 
 2. SAT technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on.  The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.
 
 3. Another SAT customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies
of the floppies.
 
 4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.  After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
 
 5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid," The
tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
 
 6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.  He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer."
 
 7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on.  After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.
 
 8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"
 
 9. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that "Insert
Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.
 
 10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and
insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.
 
 11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:
 
 Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
 
 Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
 
 Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
 
 Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
 
 Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
 
 Tech: Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show?  How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
 
 Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."
 
 At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.
 
 12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his  printer is working fine."
 
 13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
 Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
 Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
 Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "What do you mean?"
 Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"
 
 Now don't you feel better about your skill level?
 
 
Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 


Sugar
 

thanks for sharing

 

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”

- - Winnie the Pooh

 

Please walk with me through a second chance of life:

https://www.gofundme.com/sugars-transplant-journey

 

-Sugar, ❤😘

 

From: main@TechTalk.groups.io <main@TechTalk.groups.io> On Behalf Of Jaffar Sidek
Sent: Friday, August 6, 2021 3:54 PM
To: main@TechTalk.groups.io
Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor

 

Hey mike.  Those were great.  How about this?

 

A customer called IBM help desk.

Tech help: "How can I help you m'am?"

Lady customer: "Is it true that when I press Function Key1, Help will be available as written and guaranteed in my computer's mannual?"

Tech Help:  "Yes, indeed m'am."

Lady Customer: "Well I've pressed Function key1, waited for 20 minutes or so, and no help came."

Cheers!

On 7/8/2021 1:20 am, Mike B. wrote:

Hi All,

 

Just thought some of you would get a kick out of this.

 

 

Don't feel stupid about using your computer, read on.

 

This is an  excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:

 

 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the Any Key is.

 

 2. SAT technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on.  The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.

 

 3. Another SAT customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies
of the floppies.

 

 4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.  After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

 

 5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid," The
tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

 

 6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.  He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer."

 

 7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on.  After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.

 

 8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

 

 9. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that "Insert
Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.

 

 10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and
insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.

 

 11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:

 

 Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

 

 Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

 

 Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

 

 Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

 

 Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

 

 Tech: Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show?  How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

 

 Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."

 

 At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.

 

 12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his  printer is working fine."

 

 13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
 Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
 Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
 Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "What do you mean?"
 Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

 

 Now don't you feel better about your skill level?

 

 

Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 


Pamela Dominguez
 

Wow, that guy was really bright!  (not)  Pam.
 

From: Mike B.
Sent: Friday, August 06, 2021 7:03 PM
Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor
 
It says it came from the Wall Street Journal, so I'm assuming it's open to the public, so go ahead and share it.  A quick story, you know how those phony calls from people saying they're from Microsoft used to come around and they would say they needed to log into your computer for whatever reason?  One time I got one of these calls and asked the dude what he wanted, playing total ignorance about Microsoft, when he said he was from Microsoft Windows.  I told him that it was a coincidence that he was calling about Windows because I needed someone to clean our windows and asked how much they charged.
 
This dude said that they don't clean windows, and I reminded him that he just told me he was calling about windows, and if they don't clean windows why the hell are you calling me?!  This dude must have really really wanted to get into my computer because this crap went back and forth for better than half an hour!  Finally he said the magic word, * computer *, and I asked him, " what the hell is a computer?!"  Well anyways, the whole cleaning windows thing started again, and he finally hung up on me!  I know this had to be a coincidence with particular phone call from a phony Microsoft representative because I never received another phone call from one of those phonies to this day!
 
Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Friday, August 06, 2021 3:19 PM
Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor

Wow mike! That is the funniest message I have ever seen! May I forward this and maybe even put it on facebook! People are so funny sometimes, that all you can do is laugh lol! My wife, parents, and many people I have known never stop talking about just how strange, I can't think of the right word, how funny people are! I can't imagine someone saying their computer is by the door when they are being asked if they are using the Windows operating system! This is very funny, thanks for putting this on here so people don't feel so bad if they have a legitimate question! Take care mike, you are awesome lol!


On Fri, Aug 6, 2021, 1:21 PM Mike B. <mb69mach1@...> wrote:
Hi All,
 
Just thought some of you would get a kick out of this.
 
 
Don't feel stupid about using your computer, read on.
 
This is an  excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:
 
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the Any Key is.
 
2. SAT technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on.  The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.
 
3. Another SAT customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies
of the floppies.
 
4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.  After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
 
5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid," The
tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
 
6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.  He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer."
 
7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on.  After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.
 
8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"
 
9. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that "Insert
Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.
 
10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and
insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.
 
11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:
 
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
 
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
 
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
 
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
 
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
 
Tech: Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show?  How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
 
Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."
 
At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.
 
12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his  printer is working fine."
 
13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"
 
Now don't you feel better about your skill level?
 
 
Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 



AVG logo

This email has been checked for viruses by AVG antivirus software.
www.avg.com



val and david paul
 

Both messages were wonderful!

Thanks for making everyone smile.

On 07/08/2021 00:03, Mike B. wrote:

It says it came from the Wall Street Journal, so I'm assuming it's open to the public, so go ahead and share it.  A quick story, you know how those phony calls from people saying they're from Microsoft used to come around and they would say they needed to log into your computer for whatever reason?  One time I got one of these calls and asked the dude what he wanted, playing total ignorance about Microsoft, when he said he was from Microsoft Windows.  I told him that it was a coincidence that he was calling about Windows because I needed someone to clean our windows and asked how much they charged.
 
This dude said that they don't clean windows, and I reminded him that he just told me he was calling about windows, and if they don't clean windows why the hell are you calling me?!  This dude must have really really wanted to get into my computer because this crap went back and forth for better than half an hour!  Finally he said the magic word, * computer *, and I asked him, " what the hell is a computer?!"  Well anyways, the whole cleaning windows thing started again, and he finally hung up on me!  I know this had to be a coincidence with particular phone call from a phony Microsoft representative because I never received another phone call from one of those phonies to this day!
 
Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Friday, August 06, 2021 3:19 PM
Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor

Wow mike! That is the funniest message I have ever seen! May I forward this and maybe even put it on facebook! People are so funny sometimes, that all you can do is laugh lol! My wife, parents, and many people I have known never stop talking about just how strange, I can't think of the right word, how funny people are! I can't imagine someone saying their computer is by the door when they are being asked if they are using the Windows operating system! This is very funny, thanks for putting this on here so people don't feel so bad if they have a legitimate question! Take care mike, you are awesome lol!


On Fri, Aug 6, 2021, 1:21 PM Mike B. <mb69mach1@...> wrote:
Hi All,
 
Just thought some of you would get a kick out of this.
 
 
Don't feel stupid about using your computer, read on.
 
This is an  excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:
 
 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the Any Key is.
 
 2. SAT technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on.  The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.
 
 3. Another SAT customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies
of the floppies.
 
 4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.  After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
 
 5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid," The
tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
 
 6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.  He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer."
 
 7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on.  After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.
 
 8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"
 
 9. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that "Insert
Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.
 
 10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and
insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.
 
 11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:
 
 Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
 
 Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
 
 Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
 
 Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
 
 Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
 
 Tech: Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show?  How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
 
 Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."
 
 At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.
 
 12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his  printer is working fine."
 
 13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
 Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
 Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
 Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "What do you mean?"
 Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"
 
 Now don't you feel better about your skill level?
 
 
Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 


John Holcomb II
 

I’ve heard this  before.

 

 

From: main@TechTalk.groups.io <main@TechTalk.groups.io> On Behalf Of val and david paul
Sent: Saturday, August 07, 2021 1:43 AM
To: main@TechTalk.groups.io
Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor

 

Both messages were wonderful!

Thanks for making everyone smile.

On 07/08/2021 00:03, Mike B. wrote:



It says it came from the Wall Street Journal, so I'm assuming it's open to the public, so go ahead and share it.  A quick story, you know how those phony calls from people saying they're from Microsoft used to come around and they would say they needed to log into your computer for whatever reason?  One time I got one of these calls and asked the dude what he wanted, playing total ignorance about Microsoft, when he said he was from Microsoft Windows.  I told him that it was a coincidence that he was calling about Windows because I needed someone to clean our windows and asked how much they charged.

 

This dude said that they don't clean windows, and I reminded him that he just told me he was calling about windows, and if they don't clean windows why the hell are you calling me?!  This dude must have really really wanted to get into my computer because this crap went back and forth for better than half an hour!  Finally he said the magic word, * computer *, and I asked him, " what the hell is a computer?!"  Well anyways, the whole cleaning windows thing started again, and he finally hung up on me!  I know this had to be a coincidence with particular phone call from a phony Microsoft representative because I never received another phone call from one of those phonies to this day!

 

Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 

----- Original Message -----

Sent: Friday, August 06, 2021 3:19 PM

Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor

 

Wow mike! That is the funniest message I have ever seen! May I forward this and maybe even put it on facebook! People are so funny sometimes, that all you can do is laugh lol! My wife, parents, and many people I have known never stop talking about just how strange, I can't think of the right word, how funny people are! I can't imagine someone saying their computer is by the door when they are being asked if they are using the Windows operating system! This is very funny, thanks for putting this on here so people don't feel so bad if they have a legitimate question! Take care mike, you are awesome lol!

 

On Fri, Aug 6, 2021, 1:21 PM Mike B. <mb69mach1@...> wrote:

Hi All,

 

Just thought some of you would get a kick out of this.

 

 

Don't feel stupid about using your computer, read on.

 

This is an  excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:

 

 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the Any Key is.

 

 2. SAT technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on.  The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.

 

 3. Another SAT customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies
of the floppies.

 

 4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.  After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

 

 5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid," The
tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

 

 6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.  He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer."

 

 7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on.  After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.

 

 8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

 

 9. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that "Insert
Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.

 

 10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and
insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.

 

 11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:

 

 Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

 

 Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

 

 Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

 

 Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

 

 Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

 

 Tech: Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show?  How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

 

 Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."

 

 At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.

 

 12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his  printer is working fine."

 

 13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
 Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
 Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
 Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "What do you mean?"
 Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

 

 Now don't you feel better about your skill level?

 

 

Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 


Pamela Dominguez
 

I’ve seen a lot of these, but  this one, I missed.  Pam.
 

Sent: Saturday, August 07, 2021 2:04 AM
Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor
 

I’ve heard this  before.

 

 

From: main@TechTalk.groups.io <main@TechTalk.groups.io> On Behalf Of val and david paul
Sent: Saturday, August 07, 2021 1:43 AM
To: main@TechTalk.groups.io
Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor

 

Both messages were wonderful!

Thanks for making everyone smile.

On 07/08/2021 00:03, Mike B. wrote:



It says it came from the Wall Street Journal, so I'm assuming it's open to the public, so go ahead and share it.  A quick story, you know how those phony calls from people saying they're from Microsoft used to come around and they would say they needed to log into your computer for whatever reason?  One time I got one of these calls and asked the dude what he wanted, playing total ignorance about Microsoft, when he said he was from Microsoft Windows.  I told him that it was a coincidence that he was calling about Windows because I needed someone to clean our windows and asked how much they charged.

 

This dude said that they don't clean windows, and I reminded him that he just told me he was calling about windows, and if they don't clean windows why the hell are you calling me?!  This dude must have really really wanted to get into my computer because this crap went back and forth for better than half an hour!  Finally he said the magic word, * computer *, and I asked him, " what the hell is a computer?!"  Well anyways, the whole cleaning windows thing started again, and he finally hung up on me!  I know this had to be a coincidence with particular phone call from a phony Microsoft representative because I never received another phone call from one of those phonies to this day!

 

Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 

----- Original Message -----

From: David Moore

Sent: Friday, August 06, 2021 3:19 PM

Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor

 

Wow mike! That is the funniest message I have ever seen! May I forward this and maybe even put it on facebook! People are so funny sometimes, that all you can do is laugh lol! My wife, parents, and many people I have known never stop talking about just how strange, I can't think of the right word, how funny people are! I can't imagine someone saying their computer is by the door when they are being asked if they are using the Windows operating system! This is very funny, thanks for putting this on here so people don't feel so bad if they have a legitimate question! Take care mike, you are awesome lol!

 

On Fri, Aug 6, 2021, 1:21 PM Mike B. <mb69mach1@...> wrote:

Hi All,

 

Just thought some of you would get a kick out of this.

 

 

Don't feel stupid about using your computer, read on.

 

This is an  excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:

 

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the Any Key is.

 

2. SAT technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on.  The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.

 

3. Another SAT customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies
of the floppies.

 

4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.  After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

 

5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid," The
tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

 

6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.  He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer."

 

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on.  After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.

 

8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

 

9. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that "Insert
Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.

 

10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and
insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.

 

11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:

 

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

 

Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

 

Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

 

Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

 

Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

 

Tech: Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show?  How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

 

Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."

 

At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.

 

12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his  printer is working fine."

 

13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

 

Now don't you feel better about your skill level?

 

 

Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 




AVG logo

This email has been checked for viruses by AVG antivirus software.
www.avg.com



Carolyn Arnold
 

That one is a champ, Mike.

I have a cousin, who let them do their thing, ended up having to replace the entire computer after paying scammer money.

-----Original Message-----
From: main@TechTalk.groups.io [mailto:main@TechTalk.groups.io] On Behalf Of Mike B.
Sent: Friday, August 6, 2021 7:04 PM
To: main@TechTalk.groups.io
Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor

It says it came from the Wall Street Journal, so I'm assuming it's open to the public, so go ahead and share it. A quick story, you know how those phony calls from people saying they're from Microsoft used to come around and they would say they needed to log into your computer for whatever reason? One time I got one of these calls and asked the dude what he wanted, playing total ignorance about Microsoft, when he said he was from Microsoft Windows. I told him that it was a coincidence that he was calling about Windows because I needed someone to clean our windows and asked how much they charged.

This dude said that they don't clean windows, and I reminded him that he just told me he was calling about windows, and if they don't clean windows why the hell are you calling me?! This dude must have really really wanted to get into my computer because this crap went back and forth for better than half an hour! Finally he said the magic word, * computer *, and I asked him, " what the hell is a computer?!" Well anyways, the whole cleaning windows thing started again, and he finally hung up on me! I know this had to be a coincidence with particular phone call from a phony Microsoft representative because I never received another phone call from one of those phonies to this day!

Stay safe & take care. Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: "Close Enough!"

----- Original Message -----
From: David Moore <mailto:jesusloves1966@gmail.com>
To: main@TechTalk.groups.io <mailto:main@TechTalk.groups.io>
Sent: Friday, August 06, 2021 3:19 PM
Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor



Wow mike! That is the funniest message I have ever seen! May I forward this and maybe even put it on facebook! People are so funny sometimes, that all you can do is laugh lol! My wife, parents, and many people I have known never stop talking about just how strange, I can't think of the right word, how funny people are! I can't imagine someone saying their computer is by the door when they are being asked if they are using the Windows operating system! This is very funny, thanks for putting this on here so people don't feel so bad if they have a legitimate question! Take care mike, you are awesome lol!


On Fri, Aug 6, 2021, 1:21 PM Mike B. <mb69mach1@fastmail.com <mailto:mb69mach1@fastmail.com> > wrote:



Hi All,

Just thought some of you would get a kick out of this.


Don't feel stupid about using your computer, read on.

This is an excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the Any Key is.

2. SAT technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another SAT customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies
of the floppies.

4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid," The
tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer."

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.

8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

9. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that "Insert
Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.

10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and
insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.

11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

Tech: Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."

At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.

12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine."

13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

Now don't you feel better about your skill level?



Stay safe & take care. Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say: "Close Enough!"


Sharon Hooley
 

Hmm, I thought they would have other phony companies doing the same thing, so I'm surprised that you don't get any more of those calls about Microsoft.

Is it hard to communicate, even with hearing aids?  Visit
www.CochlearAmericas.com

On Aug 6, 2021, at 5:03 PM, Mike B. <mb69mach1@...> wrote:


It says it came from the Wall Street Journal, so I'm assuming it's open to the public, so go ahead and share it.  A quick story, you know how those phony calls from people saying they're from Microsoft used to come around and they would say they needed to log into your computer for whatever reason?  One time I got one of these calls and asked the dude what he wanted, playing total ignorance about Microsoft, when he said he was from Microsoft Windows.  I told him that it was a coincidence that he was calling about Windows because I needed someone to clean our windows and asked how much they charged.
 
This dude said that they don't clean windows, and I reminded him that he just told me he was calling about windows, and if they don't clean windows why the hell are you calling me?!  This dude must have really really wanted to get into my computer because this crap went back and forth for better than half an hour!  Finally he said the magic word, * computer *, and I asked him, " what the hell is a computer?!"  Well anyways, the whole cleaning windows thing started again, and he finally hung up on me!  I know this had to be a coincidence with particular phone call from a phony Microsoft representative because I never received another phone call from one of those phonies to this day!
 
Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Friday, August 06, 2021 3:19 PM
Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor

Wow mike! That is the funniest message I have ever seen! May I forward this and maybe even put it on facebook! People are so funny sometimes, that all you can do is laugh lol! My wife, parents, and many people I have known never stop talking about just how strange, I can't think of the right word, how funny people are! I can't imagine someone saying their computer is by the door when they are being asked if they are using the Windows operating system! This is very funny, thanks for putting this on here so people don't feel so bad if they have a legitimate question! Take care mike, you are awesome lol!


On Fri, Aug 6, 2021, 1:21 PM Mike B. <mb69mach1@...> wrote:
Hi All,
 
Just thought some of you would get a kick out of this.
 
 
Don't feel stupid about using your computer, read on.
 
This is an  excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:
 
 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the Any Key is.
 
 2. SAT technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on.  The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.
 
 3. Another SAT customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies
of the floppies.
 
 4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.  After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
 
 5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid," The
tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.
 
 6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.  He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer."
 
 7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on.  After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.
 
 8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"
 
 9. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that "Insert
Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.
 
 10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and
insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.
 
 11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:
 
 Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
 
 Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
 
 Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
 
 Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
 
 Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
 
 Tech: Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show?  How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
 
 Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."
 
 At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.
 
 12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his  printer is working fine."
 
 13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
 Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
 Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
 Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "What do you mean?"
 Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"
 
 Now don't you feel better about your skill level?
 
 
Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 


David Moore <jesusloves1966@...>
 

I have never seen those funny stories! Do you have some more pam?, Please share them if you do LOL!


On Sat, Aug 7, 2021, 10:45 AM Pamela Dominguez <pammygirl99@...> wrote:
I’ve seen a lot of these, but  this one, I missed.  Pam.
 
Sent: Saturday, August 07, 2021 2:04 AM
Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor
 

I’ve heard this  before.

 

 

From: main@TechTalk.groups.io <main@TechTalk.groups.io> On Behalf Of val and david paul
Sent: Saturday, August 07, 2021 1:43 AM
To: main@TechTalk.groups.io
Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor

 

Both messages were wonderful!

Thanks for making everyone smile.

On 07/08/2021 00:03, Mike B. wrote:



It says it came from the Wall Street Journal, so I'm assuming it's open to the public, so go ahead and share it.  A quick story, you know how those phony calls from people saying they're from Microsoft used to come around and they would say they needed to log into your computer for whatever reason?  One time I got one of these calls and asked the dude what he wanted, playing total ignorance about Microsoft, when he said he was from Microsoft Windows.  I told him that it was a coincidence that he was calling about Windows because I needed someone to clean our windows and asked how much they charged.

 

This dude said that they don't clean windows, and I reminded him that he just told me he was calling about windows, and if they don't clean windows why the hell are you calling me?!  This dude must have really really wanted to get into my computer because this crap went back and forth for better than half an hour!  Finally he said the magic word, * computer *, and I asked him, " what the hell is a computer?!"  Well anyways, the whole cleaning windows thing started again, and he finally hung up on me!  I know this had to be a coincidence with particular phone call from a phony Microsoft representative because I never received another phone call from one of those phonies to this day!

 

Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 

----- Original Message -----

From: David Moore

Sent: Friday, August 06, 2021 3:19 PM

Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor

 

Wow mike! That is the funniest message I have ever seen! May I forward this and maybe even put it on facebook! People are so funny sometimes, that all you can do is laugh lol! My wife, parents, and many people I have known never stop talking about just how strange, I can't think of the right word, how funny people are! I can't imagine someone saying their computer is by the door when they are being asked if they are using the Windows operating system! This is very funny, thanks for putting this on here so people don't feel so bad if they have a legitimate question! Take care mike, you are awesome lol!

 

On Fri, Aug 6, 2021, 1:21 PM Mike B. <mb69mach1@...> wrote:

Hi All,

 

Just thought some of you would get a kick out of this.

 

 

Don't feel stupid about using your computer, read on.

 

This is an  excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:

 

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the Any Key is.

 

2. SAT technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on.  The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.

 

3. Another SAT customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies
of the floppies.

 

4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.  After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

 

5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid," The
tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

 

6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.  He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer."

 

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on.  After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.

 

8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

 

9. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that "Insert
Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.

 

10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and
insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.

 

11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:

 

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

 

Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

 

Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

 

Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

 

Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

 

Tech: Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show?  How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

 

Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."

 

At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.

 

12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his  printer is working fine."

 

13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

 

Now don't you feel better about your skill level?

 

 

Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 




AVG logo

This email has been checked for viruses by AVG antivirus software.
www.avg.com



Pamela Dominguez
 

Oh, I don’t know where they are,now.  Pam.
 

Sent: Saturday, August 07, 2021 5:22 PM
Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor
 

I have never seen those funny stories! Do you have some more pam?, Please share them if you do LOL!


On Sat, Aug 7, 2021, 10:45 AM Pamela Dominguez <pammygirl99@...> wrote:
I’ve seen a lot of these, but  this one, I missed.  Pam.
 
Sent: Saturday, August 07, 2021 2:04 AM
Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor
 

I’ve heard this  before.

 

 

From: main@TechTalk.groups.io <main@TechTalk.groups.io> On Behalf Of val and david paul
Sent: Saturday, August 07, 2021 1:43 AM
To: main@TechTalk.groups.io
Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor

 

Both messages were wonderful!

Thanks for making everyone smile.

On 07/08/2021 00:03, Mike B. wrote:



It says it came from the Wall Street Journal, so I'm assuming it's open to the public, so go ahead and share it.  A quick story, you know how those phony calls from people saying they're from Microsoft used to come around and they would say they needed to log into your computer for whatever reason?  One time I got one of these calls and asked the dude what he wanted, playing total ignorance about Microsoft, when he said he was from Microsoft Windows.  I told him that it was a coincidence that he was calling about Windows because I needed someone to clean our windows and asked how much they charged.

 

This dude said that they don't clean windows, and I reminded him that he just told me he was calling about windows, and if they don't clean windows why the hell are you calling me?!  This dude must have really really wanted to get into my computer because this crap went back and forth for better than half an hour!  Finally he said the magic word, * computer *, and I asked him, " what the hell is a computer?!"  Well anyways, the whole cleaning windows thing started again, and he finally hung up on me!  I know this had to be a coincidence with particular phone call from a phony Microsoft representative because I never received another phone call from one of those phonies to this day!

 

Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 

----- Original Message -----

From: David Moore

Sent: Friday, August 06, 2021 3:19 PM

Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor

 

Wow mike! That is the funniest message I have ever seen! May I forward this and maybe even put it on facebook! People are so funny sometimes, that all you can do is laugh lol! My wife, parents, and many people I have known never stop talking about just how strange, I can't think of the right word, how funny people are! I can't imagine someone saying their computer is by the door when they are being asked if they are using the Windows operating system! This is very funny, thanks for putting this on here so people don't feel so bad if they have a legitimate question! Take care mike, you are awesome lol!

 

On Fri, Aug 6, 2021, 1:21 PM Mike B. <mb69mach1@...> wrote:

Hi All,

 

Just thought some of you would get a kick out of this.

 

 

Don't feel stupid about using your computer, read on.

 

This is an  excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:

 

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the Any Key is.

 

2. SAT technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on.  The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.

 

3. Another SAT customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies
of the floppies.

 

4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.  After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

 

5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid," The
tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

 

6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.  He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer."

 

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on.  After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.

 

8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

 

9. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that "Insert
Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.

 

10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and
insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.

 

11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:

 

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

 

Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

 

Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

 

Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

 

Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

 

Tech: Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show?  How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

 

Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."

 

At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.

 

12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his  printer is working fine."

 

13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

 

Now don't you feel better about your skill level?

 

 

Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 




AVG logo

This email has been checked for viruses by AVG antivirus software.
www.avg.com



David Moore <jesusloves1966@...>
 

No problem! I will ask mis Google and see what she tells me LOL!


On Sun, Aug 8, 2021, 6:17 AM Pamela Dominguez <pammygirl99@...> wrote:
Oh, I don’t know where they are,now.  Pam.
 
Sent: Saturday, August 07, 2021 5:22 PM
Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor
 

I have never seen those funny stories! Do you have some more pam?, Please share them if you do LOL!


On Sat, Aug 7, 2021, 10:45 AM Pamela Dominguez <pammygirl99@...> wrote:
I’ve seen a lot of these, but  this one, I missed.  Pam.
 
Sent: Saturday, August 07, 2021 2:04 AM
Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor
 

I’ve heard this  before.

 

 

From: main@TechTalk.groups.io <main@TechTalk.groups.io> On Behalf Of val and david paul
Sent: Saturday, August 07, 2021 1:43 AM
To: main@TechTalk.groups.io
Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor

 

Both messages were wonderful!

Thanks for making everyone smile.

On 07/08/2021 00:03, Mike B. wrote:



It says it came from the Wall Street Journal, so I'm assuming it's open to the public, so go ahead and share it.  A quick story, you know how those phony calls from people saying they're from Microsoft used to come around and they would say they needed to log into your computer for whatever reason?  One time I got one of these calls and asked the dude what he wanted, playing total ignorance about Microsoft, when he said he was from Microsoft Windows.  I told him that it was a coincidence that he was calling about Windows because I needed someone to clean our windows and asked how much they charged.

 

This dude said that they don't clean windows, and I reminded him that he just told me he was calling about windows, and if they don't clean windows why the hell are you calling me?!  This dude must have really really wanted to get into my computer because this crap went back and forth for better than half an hour!  Finally he said the magic word, * computer *, and I asked him, " what the hell is a computer?!"  Well anyways, the whole cleaning windows thing started again, and he finally hung up on me!  I know this had to be a coincidence with particular phone call from a phony Microsoft representative because I never received another phone call from one of those phonies to this day!

 

Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 

----- Original Message -----

From: David Moore

Sent: Friday, August 06, 2021 3:19 PM

Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor

 

Wow mike! That is the funniest message I have ever seen! May I forward this and maybe even put it on facebook! People are so funny sometimes, that all you can do is laugh lol! My wife, parents, and many people I have known never stop talking about just how strange, I can't think of the right word, how funny people are! I can't imagine someone saying their computer is by the door when they are being asked if they are using the Windows operating system! This is very funny, thanks for putting this on here so people don't feel so bad if they have a legitimate question! Take care mike, you are awesome lol!

 

On Fri, Aug 6, 2021, 1:21 PM Mike B. <mb69mach1@...> wrote:

Hi All,

 

Just thought some of you would get a kick out of this.

 

 

Don't feel stupid about using your computer, read on.

 

This is an  excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:

 

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the Any Key is.

 

2. SAT technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on.  The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.

 

3. Another SAT customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies
of the floppies.

 

4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.  After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

 

5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid," The
tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

 

6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.  He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer."

 

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on.  After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.

 

8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

 

9. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that "Insert
Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.

 

10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and
insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.

 

11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:

 

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

 

Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

 

Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

 

Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

 

Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

 

Tech: Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show?  How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

 

Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."

 

At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.

 

12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his  printer is working fine."

 

13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

 

Now don't you feel better about your skill level?

 

 

Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 




AVG logo

This email has been checked for viruses by AVG antivirus software.
www.avg.com



Sharon S
 

Hi, I feel I have to tell my own funny story. My uncle’s next door neighbour has always been going to him whenever he has a computer problem. My Uncle died a few months ago. The neighbour has been in touch with my dad over the months about things to do with the house. The other day the neighbour rang dad asking if we had a disk of my uncle’s that he needed to fix an issue on the computer. We had no luck with the disc so my brother offered to log onto his computer to see if he could fix the problem. He couldn’t do it in person because they are in a different city. So my brother emailed the guy some files that was needed to allow him to log into the computer. So, my brother rang the neighbour to talk him through letting him access the computer. My brother got onto the computer and had a look around. My brother couldn’t find anything wrong and said this to the guy. The guy then replied that it wasn’t this computer that was having the problem it was his old computer. It turns out that the guy had gone out a brought a new computer and this was what my brother was looking at. My brother explained if he wants him to fix the old computer he will need to allow him access to that machine. That was where my brother left it and we figure if he wants the other computer fixed he will be InTouch. However, since he has a new computer I don’t think it is a big issue now.

 

Bye for now.

From Shaz.

Canberra, Australia.

 

From: main@TechTalk.groups.io <main@TechTalk.groups.io> On Behalf Of Mike B.
Sent: Saturday, 7 August 2021 3:21 AM
To: TechTalk <main@TechTalk.groups.io>
Subject: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor

 

Hi All,

 

Just thought some of you would get a kick out of this.

 

 

Don't feel stupid about using your computer, read on.

 

This is an  excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:

 

 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the Any Key is.

 

 2. SAT technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on.  The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.

 

 3. Another SAT customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies
of the floppies.

 

 4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.  After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

 

 5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid," The
tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

 

 6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.  He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer."

 

 7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on.  After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.

 

 8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

 

 9. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that "Insert
Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.

 

 10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and
insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.

 

 11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:

 

 Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

 

 Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

 

 Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

 

 Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

 

 Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

 

 Tech: Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show?  How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

 

 Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."

 

 At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.

 

 12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his  printer is working fine."

 

 13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
 Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
 Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
 Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "What do you mean?"
 Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

 

 Now don't you feel better about your skill level?

 

 

Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 


Sharon S
 

Hi, my uncle set up a virtual machine to be able to give them access without them being able to access any of his information and they couldn’t do any damage. He figured this would keep them busy for awhile and off the phone to other people.

 

I tried to confuse them once by saying that my machine wasn’t running a normal version of windows but it got me nowhere. The guy said it either had to be windows or mac and if it was mac then it wasn’t effected. I ended up just hanging up. We haven’t had any windows call lately but we still have heaps of other painful callers.

 

From Shaz.

Canberra, Australia.

 

From: main@TechTalk.groups.io <main@TechTalk.groups.io> On Behalf Of Mike B.
Sent: Saturday, 7 August 2021 9:04 AM
To: main@TechTalk.groups.io
Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor

 

It says it came from the Wall Street Journal, so I'm assuming it's open to the public, so go ahead and share it.  A quick story, you know how those phony calls from people saying they're from Microsoft used to come around and they would say they needed to log into your computer for whatever reason?  One time I got one of these calls and asked the dude what he wanted, playing total ignorance about Microsoft, when he said he was from Microsoft Windows.  I told him that it was a coincidence that he was calling about Windows because I needed someone to clean our windows and asked how much they charged.

 

This dude said that they don't clean windows, and I reminded him that he just told me he was calling about windows, and if they don't clean windows why the hell are you calling me?!  This dude must have really really wanted to get into my computer because this crap went back and forth for better than half an hour!  Finally he said the magic word, * computer *, and I asked him, " what the hell is a computer?!"  Well anyways, the whole cleaning windows thing started again, and he finally hung up on me!  I know this had to be a coincidence with particular phone call from a phony Microsoft representative because I never received another phone call from one of those phonies to this day!

 

Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 

----- Original Message -----

Sent: Friday, August 06, 2021 3:19 PM

Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor

 

Wow mike! That is the funniest message I have ever seen! May I forward this and maybe even put it on facebook! People are so funny sometimes, that all you can do is laugh lol! My wife, parents, and many people I have known never stop talking about just how strange, I can't think of the right word, how funny people are! I can't imagine someone saying their computer is by the door when they are being asked if they are using the Windows operating system! This is very funny, thanks for putting this on here so people don't feel so bad if they have a legitimate question! Take care mike, you are awesome lol!

 

On Fri, Aug 6, 2021, 1:21 PM Mike B. <mb69mach1@...> wrote:

Hi All,

 

Just thought some of you would get a kick out of this.

 

 

Don't feel stupid about using your computer, read on.

 

This is an  excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:

 

 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the Any Key is.

 

 2. SAT technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on.  The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.

 

 3. Another SAT customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies
of the floppies.

 

 4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.  After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

 

 5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid," The
tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

 

 6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.  He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer."

 

 7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on.  After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.

 

 8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

 

 9. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that "Insert
Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.

 

 10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and
insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.

 

 11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:

 

 Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

 

 Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

 

 Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

 

 Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

 

 Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

 

 Tech: Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show?  How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

 

 Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."

 

 At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.

 

 12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his  printer is working fine."

 

 13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
 Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
 Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
 Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "What do you mean?"
 Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
 Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

 

 Now don't you feel better about your skill level?

 

 

Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 


Pamela Dominguez
 

Oh man, that’s just crazy!  That goes in with the rest of them for sure!  Pam.
 

From: Sharon S
Sent: Saturday, August 14, 2021 8:12 AM
Subject: Re: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor
 

Hi, I feel I have to tell my own funny story. My uncle’s next door neighbour has always been going to him whenever he has a computer problem. My Uncle died a few months ago. The neighbour has been in touch with my dad over the months about things to do with the house. The other day the neighbour rang dad asking if we had a disk of my uncle’s that he needed to fix an issue on the computer. We had no luck with the disc so my brother offered to log onto his computer to see if he could fix the problem. He couldn’t do it in person because they are in a different city. So my brother emailed the guy some files that was needed to allow him to log into the computer. So, my brother rang the neighbour to talk him through letting him access the computer. My brother got onto the computer and had a look around. My brother couldn’t find anything wrong and said this to the guy. The guy then replied that it wasn’t this computer that was having the problem it was his old computer. It turns out that the guy had gone out a brought a new computer and this was what my brother was looking at. My brother explained if he wants him to fix the old computer he will need to allow him access to that machine. That was where my brother left it and we figure if he wants the other computer fixed he will be InTouch. However, since he has a new computer I don’t think it is a big issue now.

 

Bye for now.

From Shaz.

Canberra, Australia.

 

From: main@TechTalk.groups.io <main@TechTalk.groups.io> On Behalf Of Mike B.
Sent: Saturday, 7 August 2021 3:21 AM
To: TechTalk <main@TechTalk.groups.io>
Subject: [TechTalk] Don't Feel Stupid About Using Your Computer, Read On, Humor

 

Hi All,

 

Just thought some of you would get a kick out of this.

 

 

Don't feel stupid about using your computer, read on.

 

This is an  excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:

 

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the Any Key is.

 

2. SAT technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on.  The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.

 

3. Another SAT customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with photocopies
of the floppies.

 

4. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.  After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

 

5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid," The
tech explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

 

6. A confused caller to IBM was having troubles printing documents.  He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer."

 

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on.  After ensuring the computer was
plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the mouse.

 

8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

 

9. Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second
disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that "Insert
Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.

 

10. In a similar incident, a customer had followed the instructions for installing software. The instructions said to remove the disk from its cover and
insert into the drive. The user had physically removed the casing of the disk and wondered why there were problems.

 

11. True story from a Novell NetWare Sysop:

 

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

 

Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

 

Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

 

Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

 

Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

 

Tech: Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show?  How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

 

Caller: It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a promotion. It just has '4X' on it."

 

At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.

 

12. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman responded,
"No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his  printer is working fine."

 

13. Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

 

Now don't you feel better about your skill level?

 

 

Stay safe & take care.  Mike.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say:  "Close Enough!"
 


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